Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts
Showing posts with label marriage. Show all posts

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Evil and Wrong Too

In post-9/11/01 America, (as well as post-3/11/04 Spain and post-7/7/05 Britain) there is quite a bit of fear and resentment floating around towards Islam, for some odd reason I can't think of at the moment. In the US there have been those who have tried to bring a little humor and a little reason to the situation. A few years ago a show built around social commentary brought up the effect of attempts to depict Mohammad. After a decent commentary they asked, (dared) their network to allow them freedom of speech in their next episode. The network backed out and censored it.

But we are not here to discuss that issue. We are here to discuss the valiant efforts of Muzzammil Hassan to change negative public perceptions about Muslims. In 2004, they launched Bridges TV in Orchard Park, N.Y., which featured a mix of religious, cultural and news programming from a Muslim perspective, as well as non-Muslim programming. The station, operated by a multi-religious group.

In February 2009 his wife had the gall to file for divorce. He didn't take it well. Not wanting to propagate negative stereotypes of Muslims he did the civilized thing and.....no, wait, actually, he cut her head off in the TV station's office. Turns out that sort of thing is illegal in America and he got convicted. But you know what? Maybe he is the victim in all this......at least he thinks so.........because I don't see how a headless body could be seen as more of a victim than a convicted killer.

Boy, wouldn't it be terrible if Islam was unfairly portrayed as misogynistic?

Friday, April 9, 2010

Evil and Wrong

Another sad story of abuse of women in Islam has come to us out of Yemen. A 12 year old girl died from internal bleeding caused by intercourse three days after being married to an older man. I quote from the article, "Child brides are common in Yemen, where the United Nations estimates that one in three girls are married before age 18. Most are married off to older men with more than one wife, according to a study by Sanaa University." Certainly, Arab Islamic culture is not unique in having sex crazed men seeking ever more, and younger, women; if anything that's a global trend. What is unique is the degree to which it is entrenched, institutionalized, encouraged and even justified by the Koran.

It is known that Mohammad had four wives and widely accepted that he married he favorite wife, Aisha, at the age of six but held off consummating until she was nine. In Sura 2:223 (the Cow) Mohammad tells husbands that their wife is their "tilth" or field, to be entered and "plowed" as they please. Sura 65:4 (Divorce) outlines the procedures for divorcing your wife, with special instructions in case she has not yet reached puberty. There seems to be a doctrine that a Muslim man can do anything Mohammad did, hence why most Muslim countries allow up to four wives and taking young girls to wife is allowed and even encouraged, but you are not to consummate until "later" (wink) when they are grown up, like twelve. In addition, several verses refer to women as property. The degree to which the Koran dehumanizes women is truly appalling. Verses like 4:11 and 2:282 plainly say that a woman is worth half a man. 4:11 is where inheritance rules are laid down and women can only inherit half as much as a man. In 2:282 rules for witnesses are explained and also explained is that it takes two women to equal the mental faculties of a man.

Not wanting all of its misogynist credentials to come from sexual exploitation, Islam also threw in spousal abuse. Highlights from those six clips include in the second to last one at about 1:30 the cleric praying for spousal abuse, other juicy tidbits include viewing it as "therapeutic", not more than ten times, no causing bleeding, only a small stick, not in the face, not in front of children etc. Now the obvious counter-argument is that I found the six worst clerics and posted them, ignoring all of the moderates. To speak to that, I would like someone to come up with "moderate" clerics speaking differently on the issue. I actually kind think those were the moderates, given that they were advocating limits on wife beating not backed up by the Koran. Sura 4:34 (Women), a major verse on wife beating, has six main translations, five of the six say beat or scourge and the sixth dubiously inserts words to change the meaning to "beat them (lightly)"

While you can find strange inconsistencies in the lives of early leaders of other faiths, (Joseph Smith and Brigham Young's multiple wives come to mind) where this becomes salient is when trying to examine the status of women in Islam today. I can't conclusively prove the Koran is the cause of Muslim women's sad state today I think it's a good window. It could be a chicken and egg case, cultural attitudes bleeding over into the texts. What is clear is that the attitudes and practices in the Koran are a big part of the culture.

Now where this starts to get really interesting is when we take into account Islam's condemnation of the West as being decadent and morally corrupt. I agree, we are, For crying out loud, we defend the proliferation of Pornography in the West. Not only is pornography incredibly morally repugnant but its' highly caustic and destructive effect on society is almost impossible to overstate. I won't go into the whole terrorism vs. taking a moral stand in seeking change, we all have our preferred methods of changing the world for the better. In the West we have our fair share of sexual predators, the difference is we don't use scripture to legally protect it.

Monday, September 29, 2008

Being a subject matter expert........

I have some thoughts on love, relationships and marriage, I have little experience with the first, almost none with the second and zero with the third. But this year we have a presidential race with both sides downplaying experience and running on values/positions so I figure what the heck. A couple things I have heard ruin relationships are the following:

1. Just trying to be happy in the relationship.

2. "Women are disappointed that the man hasn't changed and the man is disappointed the woman has."

3. Mistrust

Now the first one is actually pretty tricky. Everyone knows marriages fail because the couples aren't happy in the relationship. When things start to get a little tough people want to remedy it and a logical step is "I will do everything I can to make this work and be happy." Now I know there is a lot more going on than that but bear with me. People can make make the mistake that they are responsible for making themselves happy in the relationship. The big problem with the above solution is it leads to selfishness. I truly believe that in a marriage relationship your sole goal is the happiness of your spouse. This really only works when your spouse is also focused on your happiness so that with both of you trying to make the other one happy you are both happier than if you just worried about your own happiness. If this is not the case then by all means, you do need to watch your own interests but this is a very dangerous path. 1 Corinthians 7:4 is talking about a slightly different application but explains the principal very well.

I can't tell you how many times I have heard women talk about the chances of changing a man after marriage. The other day there was a discussion of the chances a a girl who is a member of my church marrying a non-member man and eventually converting him. I have heard this discussion many times and have often heard supporting opinions from people who are normally sensible. Think about: there is a major, core value that you do not like and think you can change it. You can not bank that your spouse will eventually change for you and can easily destroy your marriage. I heard a story from a friend who had been engaged to a wonderful woman for a long time and shortly before the wedding he was driving her home and was a few blocks from her apartment when she asked him to drop one of his hobbies (I don't know which one) and he pulled over, called the wedding off and gave her money for a cab. I think he may have saved himself a ton of grief, for all he knew she secretly had a list of things she was going to slowly push to "improve" him into the man she wanted.

Now men can have the opposite problem. I just John McCain would be a great example as his wife waited for him for six years while he was a POW in Vietnam and he came home and divorced her for a rich beauty queen.

One of the many reasons against premarital sex is the question of trust. If you had an intimate relationship before marriage your spouse knows you have and would have sex outside of marriage. If you had a marital affair with your current spouse while married to you last one then the problem is increased ten fold since now your spouse knows you have a record of cheating. I had a friend who was married and I don't know anything about their background. I knew him through a club and one time he mentioned he told her he was going to a meeting and would be back at 9. when he got back at 8:55 she was screaming at him because she thought he had said 8.........How fun.